I think all this revising is really bad for me. I am breaking out. IN PIMPLES! But not the ugly pus-filled ones lah thank God Almighty for that, just small ones.

What the heck! I'd rather be checked into a depression clinic than to suffer this sort of fate.

The school is making me hate myself. I have this nagging suspicion that all the revision I'm doing is useless. I am going to fail probably 6 subjects this time, then perhaps I will check myself in a depression clinic. But I still doggedly continue... and break out even more. So I will grow ugly and stupid. Sheesh.

I don't know.

I am having an unstable state of mind.

And I know it's causing concern in someone. But then again, that's questionable also. He seems so self-absorbed. No, that's not right. He does acknowledge my lack of enthusiasm for couple-ish things, but I can't talk to him. He won't understand. And when I say he won't understand, he'll get angry and accuse me of hiding things from him.

Sometimes I feel like slapping him and screaming," Get the fuck away from me! Is holding hands everything to you??? I hate you I hate you I hate you okay no lah not to that extent but yah you get what I mean. But I did mean the Get away from me Is holding hands everything to you part.

EH the guy who likes Olinda in Shooting Stars very CUTE leh!

I digress.

You know what, I don't care how white Sly's teeth are, I still think he looks ugly.

What the heck? Little India for a date? Gila kapa?? So tak glam can. Okay sorry BACK to the ISSUE ON HAND.

Which I don't feel like talking about anymore. Too personal to be broadcasted on the Net. That was just the... uh.. [ I don't want to use the phrase tip of the iceberg so overused already ] Maraschino cherry on a Swensen's Towering Temptation sundae.

I want to bitch about the school. I am starting to hate it more and more.

Firstly, the principal HAS to diss graffiti. She mentioned something about how the little things you do in life will affect how you productivise or something equally nonsensical and she quoted an example of how a certain Mayor in a certain state in a certain country managed to reduce the crime rate by removing all the graffiti from the trains and subways.

She says that the absence of graffiti gives the commuters a sense of security. And she calls the vandals "so-called artists".

In her narrow state of mind,

vandalism = graffiti

Hello woman you need to wake up your ideas!

I was so incensed I didn't even try to start opposing her verbally. Instead I kept it all in me and I got a headache. How hypocritical can people get?

There are graffiti pieces hung around the school, with your approval, and here you are condemning graffiti. The reason why those people did illegals was because they do not have a platform to practise their art. You gave us a platform, but was it sincere?

Plus, Mrs K told me that once the renovations are over, the graffiti pieces have to be taken down and thrown away. Either that, or repaint over and recycle them. And put them up where? The only reason we are doing graffiti now is because the school needs something to beautify the place while they are undergoing renovation. After that, I don't think we can do anymore.

And the principal is probably looking forward to that.

Another thing I am so pissed off about.

The fact that our school does not offer Art as an O-level subject. This really sucks.

So the niche is Science Research and Innovation. And what achievements have we achieved in that so-called niche? Hmmm?

The performing arts groups gave you Golds, with Honours too, and what do you do? You don't.

Instead, you give us a so-called brand-new Music Room which is not much bigger than the size of a classroom, which has to be shared by ALL the performing arts groups. Not even a decent auditorium with decent acoustics.

Instead, you splurge all the money on 8 Science labs, 8 SCIENCE LABS!!!!!!!!!!!! And close to a million smackeroos on Inspire Town, which I bet only 10% of the school will get to use anyway and I don't see what is so inspiring about it as it is located right opposite Physics Lab 1.

The reason why you don't offer Art? Not enough Art teachers.

Then hire more lah! So rich right???

And you give me Physics. Double Math. Encourage me to drop, yet make me sound like a failure for dropping.

Why don't you form a Science Club huh? And have weekly dissections of earthworms and forums on Newton's theorem every month.

Art lessons are wasted on kids who do not appreciate Art and make Mrs K chase them for artwork, therefore making the kids hate Art more. Although anyone who hates Art is a freak I suppose. No offence. At least appreciate, you don't have to do it or whatever.

Ah. Enough blogging.
I HAVE been really revising! Oh my I am freaking even myself out.

I freaked Mr Lim out too. Haha. He was so dumbfounded when I told him that I did my 10 year series questions at home. Turning into a nerd, I am. But I am a nerd with a life. HAH.

Maths remedial with blue movie moonlighter Mr Jackie Lim was a total waste of time and a complete bore. He told us to do questions from the 10 year series under Algebra, which I have already done at home and proudly told Mr Lim about as abovementioned. And I did them with no problems except for this certain question.

So I asked the dear teacher how I was supposed to do it. And guess what he did?

He re-read the whole question for me with certain emphasis placed on certain words for I don't know what, and he asked me if I understood. No, because I already tried reading the question, and that didn't help me to understand.

Then he re-read it for me again, but this time asking if I understood after every line.

I think I know why he is a PE teacher, not a Maths teacher.

I have been going for French too. An hour late at least. Good right?

Except for the presence of these two filthy pieces of scum in my class who think they are so pretty and adorable they insist on making so much noise while flirting with Monsieur Chan.

They try to be bitchy ala Mean Girls when they see us but they only succeed in making themselves look like pigs. Trying to be female dogs.

They think we are disgusting.

They laugh at us.

They act pretty.

EH PLEASE LAH not only are you NOT pretty, you look like PIGS waiting to be slaughtered. You are UGLY. Get it? U-G-L-Y. Piggish.

And if WE are disgusting, what are you? Repulsive? Pieces of shit?

I swear my butt is prettier than your face.

EEyer.

That was a nice rant.

Over at zaHd's house now. Later we are going to MUG. Hahah. Will blog again tomorrow.
I am such a freak!

Been staying at home to REVISE MATHS since yesterday.

OH no I am so not kidding you, neither are you dreaming. Stop slapping yourself. Stop it, I say.

I am, in fact, rather proud of myself because I managed to teach myself variations, a rather easy topic[now that I've grasped it], but one which I had no idea about AT ALL before yesterday. Also, I have drawn up a Math revision timetable with topics and subtopics to be revised at home everyday till the final year exam.

And I made myself formulae cards so I can read them on the MRT every day when I go to school.

Also I am quite confident about coordinate geometry now. Somehow the questions in the 10 year series seem so much more do-able than the questions mr lim gives us, or the ones in common tests. Which is good right? Since 10 year series questions are exact questions from past o-level papers...........

Currently revising graphs of functions or whatever you call them. The curved ones. Yep.

You all must be freaking out right now. Haha. Well, I'm turning into a nerd and proud of it! I guess my latest report slip is a major wakeup call for me. 5 out of 8 subjects failed? That's rock bottom man.

So tomorrow after school, I am staying back to study chemistry. Even if I have to stay back alone. And I'm really going to pay attention during lessons. And since there's no more drama on Wednesdays and Fridays, these days will be devoted to studying also. Hmmm. What other study times are there? Oh yes, recess! No more recess for me.

Man, do I sound happy or what? I don't know about you, but I feel really motivated to study this coming term. Maybe because the term is so short! Just two more weeks of suffering, and the chains will slacken! I can finally focus on art again. I love the world.

At least if I fail lesser subjects.

Wow, my conscience is sparkling clear today.

Lalalaladeedum.

And suddenly I have nothing to blog about. Hm.

Actually, looking at the current affairs internationally and globally nowadays, I should have alot to blog about. Obviously the most obvious event headlining publications everywhere is the Hurricane Katrina.

Yet another catastrophe to strip a whole city of what it essentially was. A city of smoky joints spilling with old soul and rustic culture. Funk and jazz permeates veins sweetly, flavouring individuals with that New Orleans feel.

To think it happened in the United States.

I thought the United States would be well-prepared in the face of disaster, man-made or natural. Furthermore, after the 911 incident, I expected them to be far less complacent of their actions than what I am seeing now. And what exactly is it that I am seeing?

Negligence, in the form of money not being allocated by the government to strengthen the city's levees, when it had been stated by experts that the aforementioned levees were not strong enough to withstand such a storm. Negligence also, in the form of the city not being evacuated earlier, when obviously them having such oh-so-high technology would actually enable them to at least expect such a storm.

And how could the federal officials have 'FORGOT' the FACT that a high percentage of New Orleans locals do not own cars, therefore were not able to leave on their own when such a disaster should strike. Like, HELLO? Excuse me? Do not give me the excuse that the federal officials are also human, they do forget things.

If you are qualified to be a federal official, to forget such a major fact involving a whole city, does indeed question your qualification.

And what the heck does a welfare state mean anyway? A charity case type city? Apparently the US prides itself on this welfarism thing, which I think is just a facade for them to appear all benevolent towards less fortunate citizens, when they are actually making these very citizens dependant on that system of welfarism, so much so that to live without it, is to not live at all.

I am guessing that this probably prevents internal conflict and/or civil wars, therefore making the country appear united.

My stand is, this is all BULLSHIT.

Political propaganda, at whose stake? The whole lot of them.

Of course, the citizens' suffering goes without saying but this also reflects one thing: shoddy leadership. Also, that Bush is the worst president ever. To refuse help? Damn fucking stupid.

Do they really think that just because the citizens are less fortunate, or live in utter poverty, that they become backless jellyfish and worship you? Do you really think so?

Obviously they will work real hard to even get a roof over their heads. And after slogging and pouring sweat, tears and blood into a place you call home, would you listen to what the government says? To leave everything you have in your life behind, to go someplace else 'for your own safety'? I mean, as long as the whole place does not have lava flooding it, and as long as there's no asteroid shower, but calm water deceptively concealing all your wordly possessions, of course you would stay.

You would stay to salvage whatever is left. You would stay to desperately struggle to find new ways of living in a place you would still call home, albeit battered by nature. You would stay to help others in need.

You would stay.

I bet these people are already used to living a rugged life, so what's a flood to them? All the pain, heartbreak and drama, are essentially far less than what they have been experiencing all their life.

Well, I can't go there and help fish dead bodies out of the water, or volunteer to help out in the shelters. And I hate myself for not being able to do so because te barriers I am facing are only a minute fraction of whatever struggles these people are facing now.

So I'll pray. It's the least I could do.
Been going out till late for the past few days. That's why I didn't have time to update. Sorry ya. Uhhh, right, Tuesday.

Went to change my passport photo on Tuesday at the ICA building at Lavendar. Was supposed to go with my mum, but decided to go with Sarah instead, since we were going out to the 2/2 gathering later. Kicked myself real hard however, for not going with my mum because apparently, I had to be 16 and above to change my passport photo on my own.

This is total bullcrap lah, because first, they made me wait to see the immigration officer who was taking a really really really long time to get through ONE person, then my dad came and they made us wait again to change the passport photo.

The receptionist was like, "Oh you have to go to an interview room to talk to the immigration officer."

What?? An interview ROOM just to change my bloody passport photo??

As if I was going to run away from home or something. As if I was an illegal immigrant or something. I mean, if I could get to the bloody place in the first place, wouldn't I be perfectly well and sane enough to get a queue number, sit down and wait, then give my passport to the counter person and whatever legal documents she needs to see, then she can change my passport photo for me?

Huuurgggnnnhhh. Bodoh nak mampos.

My number was 49. The number being displayed was 41. I thought, okay, not so bad, so I waited. Then 5 minutes passed. Then 10. And it was still 41. A full 15 minutes, I daresay more, passed before the number changed to 42.

Then my dad came thank God and we waited for about another half an hour, then it was all over and done with.

Sarah wanted to go to AMK library to get some books but because of me, she couldn't. I'm sorreh!

We headed straight to YCK to get to Ian's house, and there were only Abel, Adil, Amelia [ damn what's with all the A's? ], Kel, Nat, Sarah, Han, Atiqah and me. Headed for Ian's house and promptly proceeded to get rather lost. I shall not blame Adil for leading us to god knows where because hey, everybody makes mistakes!

Finally we got to Ian's house, but not before having to trek through this huge field, with only a shoe-ridden dirt trail with tiles and glass poking out here and there as a path. I really respect my pumps for putting up with all the abuse.

Got there and Jerome and Ananda were gallivanting in the pool, while Isaac and ZY were struggling valiantly with the BBQ pit. Mavis and Xin Ru were lazing around watching them so I just grabbed a chair and plonked myself down.

I had NO idea Adil has a six-pack. No friggin idea. And his is like whoa.

Jerome, Ananda and Adil started to get really disgusting in the pool, by having this homo-erotic orgy thing, where all of them squeezed onto this tiny float thinger which is meant to carry only ONE person. Got lotsa interesting photos on Sarah's phone.

Had to go home early because I was heading off to Johor the next day.

The next day.

Dragged my sorry ass out of bed to report to school at 6.45 in the morning.

Hmm. I really hope she's not hurt by all the backlash she's been receiving. I do not deny that I've been part of it, but I sincerely hope that she will change for the better. Well, she can always count on us should she need any help.

The Johor trip was honestly, quite boring, save for great company. I think if it was a family trip I would have dropped dead with my tongue lolling out, but with the presence of all them coonies, the trip is significantly better than what it could have been.

I think half the trip was spent in a bus. Lol. But a nice, roomy bus though.

Went to eat at this place which is really rather familiar but duno what's the name. Shared mee goreng with Kinnie. The mee was yummy. Really! Like Magic Wok, but spicier and with better service.

Then we headed to Kota Tinggi Museum. Which is quite interesting. Yah. Um. Learnt a fraction more about Malay culture. I really hope Asnah forgets about the 'project' that we are supposed to have. She can't give us a project! We have final year exam in two weeks!!!

Shit I simply had to mention that.

AHEM ANYWAY MOVING ON.

Then we went to Kota Tinggi Waterfall Resort or something like that. Oooh my the waterfall looks oh so gorgeous!

But EEE swarming with Mat Malaysia. G-rooss.

The food was nice, very kenduri-ish. Everything there is so Malay, buay tahan!

Then we went to this desolate shopping mall for our bleargh shopping spree. Actually not bad, I got myself a chunky black bangle and a pair of oldschool shoes. Super cheap shit man. But the Minah Malaysia ah, kept staring at us like whaa.

I swear I felt like shitting in their faces if they didn't stop staring. Like hello? YOU, staring at US?? Actually that's perfectly understandable, because you obviously don't get these wonderful celestial beings gracing your um, hut, every day.

Kaya Balls! Wahahaha Adlin you are super sick. She said it looked like a cut off thing. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Because it really did.

Khairi and Haikal got harassed by minah madrasah! LOL-ness!

How fucking funny is that? These two girls, in full madrasah garb, came running after them and went like, "Anderson? Anderson sekolah maner ah?" Stupid, stupid girls. Singaporean guys are too good for you, so fuck off. Funny shit man.

Then we went to GIANT! I love Giant the place is huge!

But I only bought keropok, thanks to Siti's utmost generosity. I was out of money. So pathetic.

The rest REALLY went shopping. Tees and flipflops and food, food and more food. Crazy shit.

Reached school at around 9. Was planning to go Orchard, but decided against it because I really needed sleep. Going out again the next day. Reached home and found my family immersed in a game of Monopoly. Weird. Monopoly at 10 pm?

So yesterday me and Siti went to school to get our homework in prior order. Or so we were planning. I basically copied down all the Maths homework with no real intention to complete it, and did half of Chem. Panicked for a while because I thought I lost my black file.

I CANNOT LOSE IT because all my certs are in there, together with the $200 Nippon Paint voucher so I was screaming in desperation when I ripped apart all my boxes looking for the damn thing. Then found it in Syafs' box! What the heck! LOL. Funny sia.

Left at 12 something. Zahidah had no voice at all so she went home. I headed to Nas' house because she was cooking! And if Nas is cooking, it means CANNOT MISS!

Haha.

Actually we were planning to go to an art exhibition at The Utterly Art Gallery called 'Pardon My Icons' where three artists' work were featured. And one of them was yup, Sufian Hamri aka Trase One, the other two being Herman Salleh and Ezzam Rahman.

Cordially invited by the man himself, through SMS no less, I knew I had to go.

Basically the exhibition is about what an icon is through the eyes of these three artists. Describes as an absolute of style, something that makes us feel glamorous, wonderful and beloved, something that we wish to worship, belong to, or own. The three artists themselves are described as belonging to a generation whose youth has been marked by prospering consumerism, the growing influence of media and the Internet.

They have come up with their own answers to the representation of icons. From Ezzam's chic, formal figures to Herman's playful and provocative social commentary to the repititive simplicity of Sufian's works, each provides responses to which society provides its own multiple icons.

Ripped that off the invite. HAHA. And you thought I came up with all that on my own? Nah, it was written by Kartini Bte Saat, resident curator.

This is the first time I've been invited to a chi-chi showcase, so I didn't know what to expect.

The place was at Chinatown. Got to Chinatown alright, but we couldn't find the place and became hopelessly lost. Wahahaha. Trase One to the rescue! Albeit laughing. He laughed at me! The hell... I know I sounded rather bimbotic because I'm bad at directions. But still.

Finally we found the place! He fetched us from this big junction. And brought us there. A rather charming place I must say. Elim Chew was there, she looked through my blackbook!

The space was spartan, with a white sofa being the only piece of furniture. The walls were white, and the aircon set to a chilly low.

Trase's works were superb as usual, with the lowest being priced at $300? Yeah. So cool right. Basically his was tags being put on canvas. I found it repetitive, but not simplistic though. There's a hidden complexity within the tags, like every one of them was shouting out to you, grabbing your attention. He is SUCH a narcissist. Lol.

I particularly liked the one entitled Streeterminology, where he tagged lots of street slangs on this big piece of black canvas. It was really nice, in the sense that from every angle you turn, a different colour grabs your attention, enabling you to identify another word. Strange thing is, he had my block number on it, also my email address. Wahahahaha. Funnnnny.

Ezzam's works were basically trophies made out of foam with a cement base. On the trophies he painted on people, who reminded me of the oldies fashion catalogues. From his works, I get the impression that he makes ordinary people into icons, physical icons we can hold and feel in the form of a trophy. I like.

I LOVE love love Herman's works. He used lacquer, glitter and paint to form near abstract pieces which really grabbed my attention. His is more of teen culture, featuring music and mass media. The use of glitter is absurdly marvelous I LOVE IT!!!

You have to see it to believe it. Drop by if you're free. It's at Utterly Art Exhibition Space, 208 South Bridge Road #02-01. Take MRT to Chinatown and walk past Hong Lim Complex.

Had a nice long chat with Trase. Haven't had a conversation in which we didn't talk a hell lotta cock in a long time.

Me and Nas felt totally inspired we want to have our own exhibition! LOL.

Hopefully soon.
Feeling rather hyper today.

Must be because of yesterday. Competition held at Woodlands Sports Complex [eee so tak glam]. Had to report at 8.30 in the morning, but we arrived 20 whole minutes early because my dear Daddy sent me there. He insisted on me getting something to eat so I bought a whole loaf of choc chip bread hah take that. Plus three bottles of apple aloe vera juice.

Reached the place and it was swarming with MATS. I thought it was a MUIS event so why the hell are there so many mats???

THEN I found out why. There was a football tournament thinger organised also. Ahhhh no wonder. We were looking about desperately for someone we knew and there was no one so I smsed Newa asking him if he was there already. And he called me, and I told him I was there already and he was like WHAT?? There already??

Apparently it's abnormal to be early. Ahaha. Ahem.

Then we saw Locase. Like finally a familiar face.

Oh we stashed our cans under the stage because we didn't want to lug them around. Hahah my Dad lah anyhow sorok.

Then Tech came lugging this HUGE bag. I don't know how all these people can lug huge bags all over the place, even if they contain cans because I can't. For nuts.

He looked so cute lah carrying that bag because it simply swallowed him up. I suggested bringing a trolley next time. Will help his back also.

Eh, good idea ah? Bring a trolley. Style what.

Then there was a briefing, and we started work. We all had to locate our boards, which were the same size as Street Fest 05 ones and ours was opposite Tech's, out in the open. There were the damned lucky ones who had theirs under tents.

I swear the sun was out to kill us. The heat was bloody unbearable! I'm not the type to complain, but really, my shit was boiling.

There was a small tree behind us and we kept running to take cover under it. I love trees!

Then would you believe it?? It rained. Ridiculous right. At first it was just a drizzle, hujan panas. Then it stopped for a while. Then this fuck of a storm hit us. Poor Sher, she came down to support us and got stuck in the storm with us.

It was kind of funny, because we were scrambling to get all our stuff under the tentage before they got wet. But it didn't matter in the end because the whole place got all flooded and muddy. The mud was like, ankle high man.

Well, another competition with less than satisfactory conditions. But what the heck lah, anything for graff.

There were a few boards that came tumbling down because the wind was so strong. See I'm not exaggerating when I say storm. And a damn fucked-up storm it was. Lasted three whole hours.

At last me and Nas couldn't stand seeing our piece screaming to be finished we went out in the rain, which was so much lighter by then, to finish it. People were looking at us like we were mad cows, but I couldn't give a second fuck so whatever. The rain made it such that there was this whole fine splattered effect around our keylines, which kind of worked surprisingly.

There were water droplets coated in paint all over the place. Had fun popping them. Thought everything was going fine. Till I looked at my shoes.

They were fucking BROWN!!!! My lovely lime green pumps turned brown!!!!! AAAAAAARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry bimbotic moment right there.

But really, the mud is so disgusting it looked like SHIT. Pity Nas' shoes especially. The beautiful drawn sneakers. The mud totally coated the canvas till everything turned brown and the drawings were rendered invisible. Eeyer.

At least my shoes were wipeable. Hers had to be scrubbed. Tsk.

Reminded me of HipHop Fest 04. Muddy shoes.

Speaking of which, what's the story for this year's HipHop Fest this year??? Anyone knows? I heard it's going to be held at Suntec Convention Hall, that's all. Nothing else.

And my KitKat bag. Totally destroyed. Washed it and now it's all faded. The tragedy!

At least we finished the thing, not left it hanging. Some people went back home because their planks were too wet to sprayed on anymore. Such a pity ain't it.

Yeah, made some new friends. Haha. JJ especially. Besotted with Sher. Never mind, let him be.

There were some really ill pieces. Giler nyer orang. Buat lawa sangat.

Trase came down, walked around, sat down. Hey it all rhymes! Lol. Liked his jacket.

There were two other all girl crews. In my really frank honest and brutal opinion, I think they need much more improvement. Basic fundamentals not there, yet already using cardboard and tape techniques. And it was a hell lot of cardboarding and taping there, which was really rather unnecessary.

Don't get me wrong, it's great that more girl crews are coming out. But basic skills, people!

There was this girl who was graffing in a skirt. Like, a real short skirt. Sorry to say, meluat aku. I ain't being sore about about having to fold up my pants and getting my eyeliner all smeared and getting drenched in the rain, but there are times when it's perfectly fine to be vain, but not when doing graff please. There are always other opportunities to look pretty.

Hahah I must have looked like shit but I couldn't care less.

My mum is so lovely, she came and brought chicken rice for the both of us, plus big towels. I was frozen all the way up my arse.

We got certs of participation, so it wasn't too bad. Plus, I think ASG are improving in terms of speed, but we need to wake our ideas up, because we're becoming too stereotypically feminine.

Which isn't what we're aiming to be. I think.

Had to lug home all the leftover spraycans. Carried two plastic bags of cans each. I felt like a deadweight was hanging from each of my arms. Bumped into Trase along the way to Marsiling MRT station. Being the usual lameass that he always is. But then again, he wouldn't be Trase if he wasn't a lameass, get what I mean?

Well, I don't really care if I win this competition or not, I think this one has given ASG more exposure, which is good. And it has upped our endurance. Which is also good. I think I need to get 10 more pairs of pumps.
Can I be 12 again? I miss primary school. Life was so full of fun, joy and laughter back then. Now we are all ridden with standards to keep, rules to abide by and reputations to preserve.

I fully accept that, however, as part of the maturing process. I understand that it is not right for a 15-year-old to find Pepsi Cola 1 2 3 fun anymore. Grudgingly I pay for thrice the amount I would have paid for a decent meal in primary school, for an oily plate of shit.

High ponytails and fresh, non-oily skin every morning, without worrying about how clear my complexion will be when I wake up, how many flyaway hairs I will have, and how dark my eye bags will be.

In the earlier years I carried a Sailormoon backpack, complete with a pull out handle and wheels so I could drag it around when it’s too heavy. Later I got myself my first slingbag, and I haven’t turned back since. Throw in a couple of unfortunately minah-ish totes, and there you have my daily luggage.

Fuck minahs.

I would recoil in horror if I heard someone uttering a swear word, like shit or something. Now here I am cursing and swearing myself with uncouth glee. Yes, my mouth is about as virtuous as a one-night stand but hey, who the fuck cares? Show me someone who doesn’t curse and I will eat shit. And your twelve month old nephew/niece/cousin/hamster doesn’t count. Neither do any holy people.

The canteen was wonderfully rustic, with oldschool wooden benches and coin payphones in the corner. The fans spun lazily, creating a laidback atmosphere. I could sit there forever.

BUT the school had to change its vicinity, half the teachers that I knew and loved retired, and the security guard had to be so anal.

I didn’t realize how much I missed the old gang, until we met at the front gate. It wasn’t the whole bunch of us, but it felt like it all the same. Me, Sher, Basyir and Shakir were still tight, but the rest of them had a tinge of awkwardness about them.

Flashback to afternoons spent eating 10 cent popsicles under the void decks, watching the guys play soccer and screaming our asses off playing block-catching.

We’ve all grown and changed, but the memories still stay fresh.

The guys have grown so bloody tall lah. Except for Shazni. He was this irritating arse who simply irritated the fuck out of me when we were in p6, but now, he is rather cute, I must say. He is still ever so short, but he now looks like one of those quiet intellectuals with Rooster-esque hair, super thick specs, a penchant for heavy metal and can play the guitar like whaaa.

And damn, does he look good with braces.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no romantic feelings towards him because he is a good primary school friend.

I don’t think I can ever have a romantic connection with anyone from my primary school because it would be too funny. I mean, I’ve seen them before puberty struck, and the hilarious memories would still be stuck in my head. Seen them before they grew to be these gorgeous people, and I will always remember them THAT way, not the gorgeous way.

How could a guy smell that good?

This guy from ACJC. Came over and sat at the canteen table next to mine. I caught a whiff of him and oh my I almost swooned on the spot. It should be illegal to smell so good. Imagine Pharell, with Snoop Dogg’s voice, and that smell.

Whoa. Pure, unadulterated sex appeal.

Gawd, I’m starting to sound scarily unsound.

Much like someone I know, in fact, we all know.

I didn’t know Woodlands Primary School produced so many hot guys. Seriously. Super hot. But all from neighbourhood schools, save for that ACJC one.

That day was also Be Yourself Day in Anderson Secondary School.

Or what the school assumed to be BYD anyway. First and foremost, we had a theme. Honestly, why bother? Vibrant school colours. Vibrant my ass! The colour of my shit is way more vibrant.

And there was this whole long list of donts. Just like for the class tee. A whole damned list.

Why, during the one day where we all look forward to let our hair down in school for a couple of hours, are there rules? Does any instance of freedom in Anderson have to be marred with dos and donts? Can we not be ourselves without being regulated by regulations we do not even deserve to be subjected to? And school colours. What is this obssession with school colours?

Are they not satisfied enough with looking at us suffocating in the school uniform every other full school day?

Three words. What the fuck.

If I were God, I would kill every single person on the management committee.

So much for student welfare. Shitty classrooms, shitty food, shitty celebrations. What more do they want? What sins have we committed?

How could the councillors have agreed? To the theme? To everything???

What happened to building the bridge between teachers and students? What happened to being the voice of the students? Whatever happened?

If I wasn't such a good persevering student, I would have quit school a long time ago and gotten myself married to a rich man. And have him many children. Whom I will never, ever send to Anderson Secondary School. I will send them to art school and mould them to be artistic intellectuals who defy the standards of Singaporean life.

Then I will visit Anderson smacking of money and culture, and have them all shitting in wonder and amazement that I actually survived without the tyrannical moron of a school which is ASS.

Scary incident in the train just now.

Got harassed by this whole group of, to be kind, rebellious guys. I'm talking about hardcore rebellious here. Tattoos swirling around arms and legs and necks and god knows where else, piercings here there everywhere and vividly dyed hair.

They got in at Woodlands, where everyone else in the carriage HAD to get off at, leaving me all alone. So they came in all noisy and gregarious and sat down. Then the guy right next to me started staring at me. Oh my so much for subtlety. I was feeling rather anxious so I turned away from him. He was still looking that stupid moron.

Then he wanted to tap me on the shoulder, but his friend was like," She's scared you stupid ass" and they all burst out laughing. Whaaa. I put on my most nonchalant face, despite being scared stiff by all those jantan sundal, and I got up and waited for the train to reach Marsiling. Which thakfully did so soon.

I'm very tired, too tired in fact, to feel the tiredness. It's more like a numbness. Lack of sleep perhaps.

And there is a competition tomorrow. Pray hard for ASG please.

My name is Arooth Kaynier Desarue and I am of Mongolian descent.
I have come to this heck of a small island as I seek refuge from my psychobitch of a stepmother.
I have only utmost disgust for her as she does not shave her armpits until she can make plaits.
I thought coming here would make my wretched life better.
But I thought wrong.


August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006

linnie
qiddie
ellie-sa
hussie
sarahie
zahie-dah
kinnie
hadie
nafie-sah
syafie-qah
trasie