How long has it been since I went online? A whole Ice Age??

My poor neglected blog. I'm so sorry.

Hari Raya is in two days! Two freakin days! Been busy weaving ketupat [ eh I know okay ], baking cookies, somewhat cleaning up my room but not really etcetera etcetera. Got my baju kurung which is wi-i-i-ide so my mum will be altering it. It's not really in the colour that I want, which is a dark chocolate, but it's a golden tan kind of colour.

I don't really mind as long as I have something to wear actually.

Currently I have two pimples on my face which are slowly receding into the background THANK GOD imagine having pimples on Hari Raya Aaaargh I will henna my whole face to cover it up. Oh yes, there is such a thing as concealer HAHA! Sheesh I'm so dumb.

Anyway moving on!

Nas came over yesterday to bake brownies Yumza. But they weren't for us, they were orders from Chiobu No 2 Ms Lee ME and Atiqah. Nas kept gushing over the apparent cuteness of my youngest brother. Okay fine he is cute and all but sometimes I feel like there's a cactus being shoved up my ass because he irritates me that much.

It was supposed to be a Coonies thing, but nobody appeared to be free/interested/bothered so me and Nas bought the ingredients ourselves and baked it. Twas really rather easy, albeit abit tiring. But hey my kitchen is a conducive place for baking. And cooking. So yah.

Oh oh oh you should watch Project Runway. I'm rooting for Austin! He is the quirkiest thing I ever saw on TV. If he wasn't weird, I would have thought he was a model himself. Oh I'm also rooting for the short-haired girl forgot her name... The one with the funky spiked-up hair she is so good lah.

That cocksure arse got out! Ahahahahaha! Good for him! Okay so the designers were supposed to come up with a glamorous dress for a night out, but using materials from a grocery store. The main thing the judges were looking for was innovation and creativity.

Austin used corn husks for his, and it looked really fab, like an elfin dress all pale green. But the poor guy, he didn't refridgerate the skirt, and it was all shrivelled and dry. But he still went on with it, and it turned out nice. In fact, he turned out to be the winner of that episode because he showed true innovation with his choice of material.

The short haired girl used material from a lounge chair and some other blue stuff and the dress was so spacey and futuristic. It was really nice.

The stupid guy who got out eeeeeurgh I hate him. So did the other contestants. He thinks he's so good and reputed and whatever. It's like, he's dead convinced he's good, it's scary. But he made this blah dress from garbage bags and a drab overcoat from butcher paper and the poor model looked so stiff in it. From the look on her face, I bet she was thinking Shit why am I stuck with this dick??

The judges panned his dress, describing it as "the easiest and most boring thing I could make in five minutes." Ouch.

Catch Project Runway, Mondays at 10 pm, only on Channel 5!

Fuck block revision lah. Two weeks of it man. Two fucking weeks of Syawal gone like that.

Next year lagi best cannot celebrate at all. Because of O-levels. Fuck lah!

I think I will have to put my life on hiatus for the whole of next year.

Okay off to make more cookies. Tata!

Oh, and in case I don't get to update anymore, I'd like to wish all of you Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir dan Batin!
What is this nonsense about a tsunami hitting the Straits of Malacca? I refuse to believe it, because if I did, I would have moved to Africa already. If a tsunami were to really occur, HELLO where the heck do I live and where the heck do you live?? I live in Marsiling, which is really really really close to the Straits. So bye bye nice knowing you!

Therefore I shall wallow in denial.

I was just musing about life after death with Sarah, Atiqah and Han the other day. I am very scared because I am very good at scaring myself. What we are living now, is just a sliver of the rest of our lives. The big picture is, we are all going to end up with God one day, and from then on, we are going to live forever.

And THAT is scary.

The prospect of immortality after death is just so frightening I mean, all we have been believing is that we are going to die one day, and then we are faced with this live-forever destiny. Which brings me to question our existence in the first place. Are we living right, in preparation for it?

People are making movies out of the world coming to end. Are they really expecting it, have they accepted that the world will come to an end, or are they just making a whole big mockery out of it?

W'allahua'lam. Only God knows.
What is this nonsense about a tsunami hitting the Straits of Malacca? I refuse to believe it, because if I did, I would have moved to Africa already. If a tsunami were to really occur, HELLO where the heck do I live and where the heck do you live?? I live in Marsiling, which is really really really close to the Straits. So bye bye nice knowing you!

Therefore I shall wallow in denial.

I was just musing about life after death with Sarah, Atiqah and Han the other day. I am very scared because I am very good at scaring myself. What we are living now, is just a sliver of the rest of our lives. The big picture is, we are all going to end up with God one day, and from then on, we are going to live forever.

And THAT is scary.

The prospect of immortality after death is just so frightening I mean, all we have been believing is that we are going to die one day, and then we are faced with this live-forever destiny. Which brings me to question our existence in the first place. Are we living right, in preparation for it?

People are making movies out of the world coming to end. Are they really expecting it, have they accepted that the world will come to an end, or are they just making a whole big mockery out of it?

W'allahua'lam. Only God knows.
My deepest condolences to TraseOner for losing someone so special in his life. Ahahah yes no worries and I WILL offer as many prayers as I can. Much love.
I know JCs are nice and all, but no way am I ever going to go to one. I just can't stand another two years of wearing a school uniform and learning the same things as in secondary school and PE and NAPFA! NO no cannot won't do.

So we went on a JC open house marathon, we as in me, zaHd, mas kambeng, syafs and adlin. First up we went to AJC, which was really rather boring. More Science focus and whatnot it sound eeriely like ASS cannot tahan. We upped and took our business elsewhere during the Principal's talk because it is really rather boring. Apologies for the rudeness, but it is really rather boring.

Then we went off to VJC, which had a much more fun atmosphere. There was free ice cream DAMN and the goodie bag had Twisties and Chupa Chups sob. There was a hell lot of activities stationed haphazardly around the campus and the hubbub made me dizzy. But it was fun, there was flying fox and whatnot.

After two JCs, I was beat. So we decided to go to one last JC, NJC.

Took a bus ride there. Man I think we spent what, half the day in a bus!

Okay, NJC is fucken huge. It is the hugest thing I've ever seen. It's built on a hill such that to get into the bulding and to places, you gotta climb up. And Crystal told us that the campus stretches to 100m in length. A hundred bloody metres?? Dafuck?? Giler sak.

I heard that and I really felt dizzy. Ahahah.

Well, we got a heck lot of freebies but I am still standing firm on my non-decision for JC.

Alah aku tak nak pergi sekolah esok!!!!

Translation: Damn I do not want to go to school tomorrow! ARGH!

Haha. Bluek.
Please.

Sometimes, just when you feel like you've finally regained your strength, you turn against yourself and strip all that bravado away, leaving a vacant hollow.

You know when you feel the malignant ache in the deepest crevices of your being. You know when you feel the blood draining away, but all you see is blue. The stalagmites of hurt bite.

You got mojo yeah, yeah. Whatever.
Sometimes, I feel that God has a way of dumping all the worst things that could happen to me, all at one time. Not that I'm grumbling or anything but gimme a break lah! Sheesh.

Nevertheless, I still have good times. With great company. Take Thursday for instance. Due to a sudden change [or abolishment rather] of plans, I ended up having so much more fun than I suspect I would have if the plans were to actually fall into place.

Me and Nas were moping around Taka after moping around Kino, not really knowing what to do where to go so we sat down.

I just LOVE the meanahchees. They saved us from that bout of aimlessness! We were so grateful we had this surge of inspiration fueled by a wanting to be nice, so we made them little presents and bought them a cheesecake yum.

Reached Shikin's house and lazed around while they cooked stuff. Damn the table was literally covered with dishes! There was chicken, fish, fries, nuggets and whatever else I probably didn't notice hehe.

I felt [and probably weighed] like a sack of rice by the time I finshed my plate. Was feeling rather high so I was cracking all these stupid jokes and I think I made them all have internal combustion. Sorreh! Can't help being funneh! Lol I was laughing my ass out because we were all crapping and bitching it was so funny if I wasn't eating I would have been rolling on the floor.

Then we washed up and watched Napoleon Dynamite. It was freaking hilarious! Napoleon is the dumbest nerd and the biggest loser I've ever seen! He is so fuck funny!

Well, I only watched half of it because it was already 9. Which was close to 10. Which means I had to get my ass home or I would never have to anymore.

I always feel sad to leave Shikin's because it is such a homey place. Hmmm but I ain't her cousin or anything so I guess *sob* there's always an end to all things good.

I will blog about today.... another time aite.
1) My uncle once:
Ran away to Batam to marry his second wife.

2) Never in my life:
Will I snog a camel.

3) When I was five:
I had no titties.

4) High School was:
Shit.

5) I will never forget:
The moment I, I.. Uh. Cannot remember.

6) I once met:
A guy with his schlong bulging against his zipper.

7) There's this guy/girl I know who:
Gives blowjobs for free.
8) Once, at a club:
I saw Paris Hilton's underwear.

9) By noon Im usually:
Itching to get out of school or home.

10) Last night:
My bed rocked.

11) If I had only one dream:
I wouldn't want it to end.

12) Next time I go to church:
Yes and money will grow on trees and mushrooms on faces.

13) Angelina Jolie:
Can straighten up anything crooked.

14) What worries me most:
The lack of intellect in relationships nowadays.

15) When I turn my head left, I see:
The French Alps.

16)When I turn my head right I see:
The Gobi Desert.

17)You know Im lying when:
Me? Lie? NAH. Maybe when you start balding.

18) You know what I miss most about the eighties:
The prices.

19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare:
I would be a vamped-up Juliet who goes around digging gold from suckers like Romeo.

20) By this time, next year i might:
Oh yeah I can predict the future. My crystal ball is on emcee today. I'll get back to you later.

21) A better name for me would be:
Arooth Kaynier Desarue

22) I have a hard time understanding:
The attraction of FHM.

23) If I ever go back to school:
Maybe if I had left school already...

24) You know I like you if:
I drool all over you. Kidding, of course. I'd cu-- okay never mind.

25) If I won an award, the first person Id thank would be:
My parents. If not for them, I wouldn't have existed. Therefore, I wouldn't have gotten the
damn award.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Einstein:
Slim who?

27) Take my advice, never:
Turn gay.

28) My ideal breakfast is:
A jug of coffee.

29) A song I love, but do not have is:
Kasihnya Laila by Jin Bara

30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest:
You bring me to yours.

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & trackstars are all:
Nuts.

32) Why wont anyone:
Gimme a million bucks? Seriously.

33) If you spend the night at my house:
You'll want to spend a whole year, and then some.

34) Id stop my wedding for:
Pharrell Williams

35) The world could do without:
Paparazzi.

36) Id rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:
Eat it.

37) My favorite blonds are:
The ones on the DIY hair dye boxes. Spares conversation.

38) PAPER CLIPS are more useful than:
My ass.

39) If I do anything well its:
Cracking you up.

40) And by the way:
You have something hanging out of your nose. Gee you're gross.
I see couples. Every-fucking-where!

And I feel like crap. Must have looked like crap too.











Man, I sound like a loser.
I have to let this out.

On Sunday, when I came home from Orchard, I saw something I wish I didn't see. No, it wasn't a rhinoceros' dick, no. Although a rhinoceros' dick could have been much more uplifting.

Okay, I will be very serious and boring for this post because I am feeling very hurt. Not to mention sad, angry, confused and depressed. Eh, doesnt sound very boring all of a sudden, haha well all you voyeurs will have something to chew on after reading this.

So I alighted from the Mrt and started walking towards the escalator. And I saw this guy and this girl. I thought the guy was so familiar, like when you know someone for very long, and you can recognize how he or she looks like, even from the back and from a distance? Like, ding! Hey I KNOW that person it has got to be whoever-it-is I shall go and say Hi.

Then I realised the inappropriateness of that analogy because that person, I strongly suspected to be my boyfriend [ currently the ex ], was with a girl, and they looked real happy together.

I'm not saying that it's wrong for a girl and guy to look real happy together, but I thought it was abit wrong for him to be all alone with a girl I recognized to be his ex. How? I saw her Friendster profile, and a few other things I do not wish to mention here. Then he turned around. In my state of confusion, I looked away and didn't look back until I climbed up the overhead bridge.

They were out of sight. Gone. To where, I don't know.

All sorts of questions started bouncing off the walls of my head. See, I didn't want to jump to conclusions, so I called Shikin and Zahidah and started blabbing to them what I just saw please tell me what I'm thinking is not true tell me to stop getting angry and all that shit.

So I let myself calm down until about 6 in the evening. I asked him. In a very subtly way of course. And he denied. Then he sent me a rather revealing message, accidentally, I think I was the last person he wanted to be reading it. Something like him sending the girl and I saw and I'm going to slaughter him tomorrow.

You have no idea how I felt when I read the message. Well, I guess you could describe it as WHAT THE FUCK? Not an angry one, but a more confused one. The anger will come later.

He wanted to explain. It isn't what you think. We have to meet. Can we meet please? I have something I need to tell you.

I only felt one thing. Betrayal. I felt so sad. Then I analyzed the situation. Why should I feel sad? He lied to me. For all I know, he could have been lying to me about so many things. I felt like a gullible fool. I thought, Man this is not me. I am not a wuss.

What's the next most logical feeling of a person who had been betrayed? Yeah, anger.

I'm skipping a hell lot of long-winded messages from him, and some abrupt ones from me, because I don't see the need to repeat them here.

He desperately wanted to meet. And I desperately didn't because I honestly didn't feel like seeing his face. But he said he would explain. Fine.

Went to school with him this morning. It was a bloody mistake. I wasn't ready and my emotions weren't in check. Apparently he has been hiding that much from me, and more, which again I don't wish to repeat here. When I got to know that, rage just filled me up and blinded me out.

I was so fuck angry I just refused to speak to him and I was walking deathly fast. All I could think about was getting to school and away from this jerk. He tried to get me to walk slower, talk things out with him, hear him out.

I just couldn't. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I willed myself not to cry. I recoiled violently when he grabbed my bag, elbow, waist, hand, arm, whatever, to get me to stop.

I was scared to open my mouth, because I knew that if I did, I would probably regret doing so because I would probably have verbalised abuse at him, which I didn't intend to do. So I just kept quiet, and my distance.

Anger doesn't truly affect me often, but this time the feeling was so strong it was dizzying.

I just felt so hurt lah!

You may think I was being irrational. Why didn't you hear him out? Why didn't you say anything? Maybe he's really sincere, only you're not giving him a chance to explain himself.

I am human. You put yourself in my position. Then you will know.

I'm sorry for being such a bitch, giving abrupt answers laced with heavy sarcasm.

I told him to go back to that girl and live happily ever after. I said alot of mean things.

She got involved too. I told her to stop apologizing, for it will change nothing. I didn't say alot of mean things, but I was thinking some.

Apologies.

I don't hate anyone now, contrary to what he says. There ain't space in the world for hate.

But I feel damn rotten.
Had a great great day out just now!

I met Shikin darling at Somerset at 1-ish. Why?

TREXI EXHIBITION! I love love love Trexis they are the cutest things! If you don't know what Trexis are, Hmmm go here : www.artvsts.blogspot.com

It was over at Cathay Cineleisure. They were all so dope can! Yeeeesh I want a bloody Trexi too but sigh no money. Shikin got one ahhhh one really nice one. She was real lucky because they came in boxes, and it was a random thing, like you don't know what you were going to get. And she got one that she wanted!

But then again, I wouldn't mind whichever one I got because they were all really nice.

And the personalized ones! Wowza! Done by artists all over the globe, including SG of course. KGB's one was super strong dope! I was so in awe, I could have pissed in my pants.

Hey I want my own toy collection too! I'll call them Titties. Heh.

Shikin was like, " Adult toy collection. "

I don't know about you but that sounded wrong. Haha!

Nas met us later. Red ribbons on her shoes! So nice.

Decided to watch Corpse Bride. It was a total impulse decision. And now I owe Shikin 9 bucks and 50 cents. Damn ticket prices.

The movie was lovely. Deliciously freaky. Tim Burton should be made a deity. Hahah! That all rhymed! Okay sorry.

The animation was superb, eeriely realistic, and maliciously dark. Scenes like when Emily rose out of her grave, was pulled off with an almost defiant panache. This is definitely different from cookie-cutter animation strips, for the underlying themes are really disturbing in a sense.

You gotta watch it to believe it! And zaHd, so sorry I didn't know we were going to watch it! Sorreh bebehh!

The ending is super sad. It was surprisingly touching, or maybe it was the fasting month I don't know, but I felt like crying. I mean, Emily's fate is really indeed very sad. I won't reveal anything, because I don't want to let loose any spoilers.

Hmmm, don't really feel like blogging anymore because something happened that totally spoiled my day. Trust me, you don't want to know. Ah, tomorrow, physics paper. Heck that man! Two more papers and we are free!
I have the funniest thing to blog about.

So today after the EMath Paper 2, which was so lovely I LOVE MR CHAI for setting something I could do more than half of! Ooooh.

I don't think I can pass overally, but I feel rather happy because I know I did my best.

Chey bahhh.

Uh yeah, anyway, something funny... hmm.. ah yes.

Me, Ain, Husna and Nas went to Suntec City for the Body Shop warehouse sale.

There was this stupid saggyeggheadbiatch who suspected us of shoplifting!

Oh my! We were browsing innocently, toting our finds in our hands when she asked us, " Do you need a shopping bag for your things? "

I smiled, thinking how nice, and said, " Oh no it's alright. "

Then she stared at us funny. We walked away to the other side of the place and that idiot followed us you know. She followed us and was motioning frantically to the security like she was having pussy cramp. She signalled to the guard to keep his eye on us.

What the hell?

Like hello? As if we don't have enough money to stoop so low as to shoplift. This is obvious bias against school uniform! That stupid woman! I hope she really does get pussy cramp someday, like when she's fornicating with a goat or something.

Oh wow I am like, so totally stupid I will like, steal things at like, a warehouse SALE, with like, all these security guards around, and during like fasting month too! Like D-uh!

I swear, people like her are the ones giving the service industry in Singapore a bad name. So only working adults have the right to shop is it? Any one who enters wearing a school uniform is a shoplifter! Call the guards on them! Offer a plastic bag, if they refuse, then BAM OBVIOUS SHOPLIFTERS!!!

So we students are only supposed to carry like what, 50 cents to buy Chupa Chups while sitting next to longkangs trying to catch tadpoles? Do we not have enough class to patronize your shop?

Seriously. Bahh lousy salespeople. If she doesn't get pussy cramp, I will cramp her pussy for her, and even provide a goat for her.

Actually, that's not the funny part of the day. That has yet to come.

After that harrowing experience, we went to......... Toys R Us!!!!!

We went in and we were all kids again! Me and Nas were playing air hockey, Ain and I tried on these huge rubber wig things. They were so cute, there was this Afro one, a blond ponytailed one, a pink Jap-ish one and an Elvis one!

Then Ain put on this witch hat, and posed with a broomstick. Eh, witches now damn glam okay, their hat got glitter lah, got motifs lah, there are even neon witch hats. And they can customise the colour of their broomsticks too! Haha!

We were walking around and oohing and aahing at all the lovely toys damn I wish I was a kid again.

So there was this group of guys from duno what school. Obviously lower sec, shorts mah.

This girl came up to us and said something like, " One of my friends is interested in one of you. Not sure who. "

I was like, " Uh. Okay. Yah, so? "

She was like, " Just thought you'd like to know. "

So were we supposed to thank you or something?

Okay anyway they kept following us it was really rather freaky. So what do you do when you have a group of boisterous lower secondary boys on your trail?

Naturally, find an escape route.

So we went to the baby changing room thinking it was a toilet. Those damned guys were still following us. So we saw this white door which said " ESCAPE ROUTE! "

Okay lah it didn't say that.

It had a sign with a man going down a staircase, and the words level 4 or something, so we thought okay, let's take the stairs. The door was locked, but we could unlock it, so we did and went into this really scary stairway. There was a loud humming sound, like a generator and it was all brown-grey cement and white pipes.

We went in... and closed the door. I went down first. And I found that.. the door had no bloody handle. It could not be opened.

And guess what? The door we went in, apparently locked by itself.

We were trapped! Gasp!

Cey drama seh.

But it really did happen and we were piss scared haha we thought we were going to die in there. I found the whole situation rather funny, but the thought of dying in a dank stairwell in a shopping center proved to be unappealing, so I hurled myself onto the door and started yelling for help.

I got dust all over myself but what the heck, I got us saved!

Ceh konon heroine ah.

This real nice ang moh lady unlocked the door from outside and rescued us! She was so cool about it, " Oh now you can be happy again! "

Thanks lady.

Then we found the real toilet, mirrors and jambans and all, and went in to orientate ourselves. I think the whole thing didn't even last 5 minutes. And two of those bloody freaks who forced us into the damn thing in the first place were waiting outside! What the heck?

Funny!!!! Funny funny funny.

Stupidly funny.

Okay people, when you see a door in a shopping center which is locked, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT try and open it. It is locked for a reason. And it is not for people running away from stalkers to escape. Its either stalkers, or hysteria in a dark staircase.

Till next time. Tata titty tutu!

My name is Arooth Kaynier Desarue and I am of Mongolian descent.
I have come to this heck of a small island as I seek refuge from my psychobitch of a stepmother.
I have only utmost disgust for her as she does not shave her armpits until she can make plaits.
I thought coming here would make my wretched life better.
But I thought wrong.


August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006

linnie
qiddie
ellie-sa
hussie
sarahie
zahie-dah
kinnie
hadie
nafie-sah
syafie-qah
trasie