Friday, October 07, 2005
I have the funniest thing to blog about.
So today after the EMath Paper 2, which was so lovely I LOVE MR CHAI for setting something I could do more than half of! Ooooh.
I don't think I can pass overally, but I feel rather happy because I know I did my best.
Chey bahhh.
Uh yeah, anyway, something funny... hmm.. ah yes.
Me, Ain, Husna and Nas went to Suntec City for the Body Shop warehouse sale.
There was this stupid saggyeggheadbiatch who suspected us of shoplifting!
Oh my! We were browsing innocently, toting our finds in our hands when she asked us, " Do you need a shopping bag for your things? "
I smiled, thinking how nice, and said, " Oh no it's alright. "
Then she stared at us funny. We walked away to the other side of the place and that idiot followed us you know. She followed us and was motioning frantically to the security like she was having pussy cramp. She signalled to the guard to keep his eye on us.
What the hell?
Like hello? As if we don't have enough money to stoop so low as to shoplift. This is obvious bias against school uniform! That stupid woman! I hope she really does get pussy cramp someday, like when she's fornicating with a goat or something.
Oh wow I am like, so totally stupid I will like, steal things at like, a warehouse SALE, with like, all these security guards around, and during like fasting month too! Like D-uh!
I swear, people like her are the ones giving the service industry in Singapore a bad name. So only working adults have the right to shop is it? Any one who enters wearing a school uniform is a shoplifter! Call the guards on them! Offer a plastic bag, if they refuse, then BAM OBVIOUS SHOPLIFTERS!!!
So we students are only supposed to carry like what, 50 cents to buy Chupa Chups while sitting next to longkangs trying to catch tadpoles? Do we not have enough class to patronize your shop?
Seriously. Bahh lousy salespeople. If she doesn't get pussy cramp, I will cramp her pussy for her, and even provide a goat for her.
Actually, that's not the funny part of the day. That has yet to come.
After that harrowing experience, we went to......... Toys R Us!!!!!
We went in and we were all kids again! Me and Nas were playing air hockey, Ain and I tried on these huge rubber wig things. They were so cute, there was this Afro one, a blond ponytailed one, a pink Jap-ish one and an Elvis one!
Then Ain put on this witch hat, and posed with a broomstick. Eh, witches now damn glam okay, their hat got glitter lah, got motifs lah, there are even neon witch hats. And they can customise the colour of their broomsticks too! Haha!
We were walking around and oohing and aahing at all the lovely toys damn I wish I was a kid again.
So there was this group of guys from duno what school. Obviously lower sec, shorts mah.
This girl came up to us and said something like, " One of my friends is interested in one of you. Not sure who. "
I was like, " Uh. Okay. Yah, so? "
She was like, " Just thought you'd like to know. "
So were we supposed to thank you or something?
Okay anyway they kept following us it was really rather freaky. So what do you do when you have a group of boisterous lower secondary boys on your trail?
Naturally, find an escape route.
So we went to the baby changing room thinking it was a toilet. Those damned guys were still following us. So we saw this white door which said " ESCAPE ROUTE! "
Okay lah it didn't say that.
It had a sign with a man going down a staircase, and the words level 4 or something, so we thought okay, let's take the stairs. The door was locked, but we could unlock it, so we did and went into this really scary stairway. There was a loud humming sound, like a generator and it was all brown-grey cement and white pipes.
We went in... and closed the door. I went down first. And I found that.. the door had no bloody handle. It could not be opened.
And guess what? The door we went in, apparently locked by itself.
We were trapped! Gasp!
Cey drama seh.
But it really did happen and we were piss scared haha we thought we were going to die in there. I found the whole situation rather funny, but the thought of dying in a dank stairwell in a shopping center proved to be unappealing, so I hurled myself onto the door and started yelling for help.
I got dust all over myself but what the heck, I got us saved!
Ceh konon heroine ah.
This real nice ang moh lady unlocked the door from outside and rescued us! She was so cool about it, " Oh now you can be happy again! "
Thanks lady.
Then we found the real toilet, mirrors and jambans and all, and went in to orientate ourselves. I think the whole thing didn't even last 5 minutes. And two of those bloody freaks who forced us into the damn thing in the first place were waiting outside! What the heck?
Funny!!!! Funny funny funny.
Stupidly funny.
Okay people, when you see a door in a shopping center which is locked, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT try and open it. It is locked for a reason. And it is not for people running away from stalkers to escape. Its either stalkers, or hysteria in a dark staircase.
Till next time. Tata titty tutu!
Posted by funkadelic @
4:51 AM -
1 comments